blue skies are coming, but i know that it's hard.

i have a lot to catch up on. the thought of wrapping myself from head to toe in knitted items cheers me up, despite the constant dampness in our lives.

bonfire night passed me by as quickly as an indoor sparkler fizzles out this year, and halloween preparations and pumpkin carving were more fun than the actual event.

we went on a trip to london too, and saw the turbine hall project which was partly made by my work, and utterly terrifying. i held on tight. i also went on my first trip to broadway market, had a delicious coffee which didn't make me feel insane or tipsy and saw lots of people riding bikes that were too cool for their own good.

i keep waking up with "think twice" by celine dion in my head, i think it's a sign. perhaps like the time i kept dreaming about poo.... i do hope not.

young

I had better taste in clothes when I was younger than I do now.

trendy! sexy! cool!

My lovely ex-housemate Else features in this months Grazia magazine - how exciting!

We were once photographed with our "collections" for a photography project, she counted over 50 pairs of shoes. I just had lots of things with birds on. I am eternally envious of the size of her feet and my inability to borrow/steal all of her footwears (even some extremely jazzy gold glittery party shoes).

I just did a 6 minute hula-hooping workout and felt dizzy and confused and ended up buying a printer. I'm unsure yet if this was wise or very unwise. We shall see.

I am working for a very nice artist at the moment called Stuart Haygarth, doing a few finishing bits and bobs. It is so refreshing to occasionally meet these artists and designers who actually seem to care about their work, and the people who help to make them. Really really nice.

that is all.

xxx

oh elisabeth, you're my sunshine

another weekend, another birthday, another batch of baked goods.

a bit of a fondant flop though, perhaps i'll be more successful with more time/less wine.

i've had a tough week, physical and mental disorder creating a kind of hermitting effect. you know when you just can't really explain what's wrong, to anybody, so you pretend nothing much is wrong at all. keep calm, carry on.

i need to do something different, i need a big challenge. i might pack my bags in the spring for a bit, go wandering in new zealand or go on a really long bike ride with my tent or go to america to eat burgers and fries.

but i don't want to leave my house behind, regardless of its damp patches and funny creaky noises here and there.

i'm gathering excitement about the pumpkin party we're going to hold in a few weeks time, perhaps another rung on me and debbie's party planning ladder! yes!

fresh!

I finally had a small triumph in the (semi) vegan kitchen, Richard gave my banana bread a score of 93% out of 100% - none of those wacky made up percentages that Louis Walsh uses on the X-Factor. Proper numbers.

I made two actually, one with eggs and raisins, one without eggs and with cinnamon. Both were zesty and gooood. My mum made one too, so I got to sample 3 different types in the space of two days! Crikey, it's a good job we're getting the Wii Fit tomorrow (YES!!!) or i'll turn into a porky pie.

I conquered my fear of children on saturday and held a child for the first time since my brother was a baby. No joke, it really has been that long. I always manage to skip the "holding the baby" bit when a new one gets passed round the group. I hate it, I find it utterly terrifying, and ok - maybe this wasn't quite a baby as such, but even a 5 year old is pretty good going for me. I liked it! Maybe this is a new leaf turned.

In other not-so-great news, I had an extremely strange experience on saturday evening and I have absolutely no memory of what happened to me after leaving Rebecca's house. I was in a taxi, then I was in the middle of the road on my own, then I was being carried home and being very very ill for a lot of hours after that. I only know that much because Richard filled me in on the whole quite horrifying ordeal. To say it's hazy is an understatement, as far as I'm concerned something mind-altering happened to me without my consent, some how or another. Very unpleasant, an experience I'd like to leave behind me swiftly.

But we now have 8 days left to complete the engraving project at work, so I am going to grin and bear a couple of weeks of sanding sores and dusty eyebrows before hopefully something new and exciting comes along. Anybody want to offer me a job as a TV chef???

Thought not....

half of what you hear, and none of what you see

I did a drawing once that everybody seemed to love. I painted it when I was very upset and sad, and now it lives underneath my bed doing nothing. I feel like that is what I am doing with my art. Absolutely nothing.

I need to get my teeth into something creative again soon. Very soon. I am becoming consumed by the consumerist art world and every day that my nose bleeds because of the fiberglass dust, or i get chemicals in my eyes, I wish hard for an escape route. But I am stuck between loving doing a craft as a full-time job, and hating never being able to do my own craft.

Perhaps tomorrow I'll hatch a mega-super get rich quick plan instead of trying to win radio competitions. Yeah. YEAH!

homely, homely.

I remember on valentines day, the usually dismal station platform was dotted with bursts of colour from the hastily bought generic bouquets awaiting their expectant recipients' joyous welcomes. One man was carrying a brand new vacuum cleaner - probably a far more useful gift, yet a far cry from the romance we anticipate.

I always feel like a celebrity carrying flowers, like some slick man in a convertible car may have just swept me off my feet with them, before whisking me away on his luxury yacht. Of course this is almost the opposite of what I actually want. The idea of this imagined "slick" man makes me feel quite sick, but I can't help having a twinkle in my eye and a spring in my step as if I have just been lavished with gifts.

I only needed to buy a carrot this evening, so there was really no need for me to take a detour to Baker Street, but it worked out wonderfully because I stumbled upon a bucketload of flowers for 10p a bunch. Fresh flowers always seem so luxurious, something perhaps I'll be able to afford when I'm a proper grown up.

My mum used to go to flower arranging classes. She took me along one time, I used to love squeezing the green foamy stuff between my fingers. I thought I had done really well in the class, but the teacher was very bossy and didn't seem to like my childlike style. If only she could see me now, maybe my homemade bread would impress her.





I am having a love/hate relationship with breakfast. Some days I'll fly out of the door with only a cup of coffee in my hand, and others I'll sit down surrounded by as many breakfast items as I can find. I like to act out a hotel continental breakfast - cereal first, then toast, eggs, grilled tomatoes, orange juice and coffee. I am also becoming worried that I talk/think about food an unhealthy amount. I am an obese person trapped in the body of a runner bean. A runner bean that desperately needs some sleep.

xx

pun fun

Happy Birthday Sam! (yesterday)







My brother turned sixteen yesterday. They say "sweet sixteen", and the cake certainly was that! He likes music a lot, so i made a piano cake for him. I covered KitKats in black icing for the keys, and made the musical notes from Tunnocks Teacakes and KitKats smothered in icing. The chocolate sponge was delicious and moist, but the icing had to be quite thick so that it looked really white which made it very sickly. I think his sweet tooth liked it though...

I also made some origami bunting, and my mum made 4 different lasagnes!! We are all allergic awkward eaters. It was a great bank holiday evening though, lots of wine a'flowing.

In slightly worse news, our kitchen has been invaded by tiny black and white bugs which hide in cupboards and cracks. They're horrible!

I need to tidy up and not update my blog......

i sea the see

this is why i still live in brighton. every weekend is like a holiday.

camel

I forgot to post about the camel cake I made for Jasmine's 24th birthday. She is one of my oldest friends, and appears to believe that she was a camel in a past life. Or is one now, I'm not entirely sure.



It was a crowd pleaser, and tasted good too! I am so very busy with work at the moment that my brain is finding it difficult to focus on anything else (except Rock of Love II).

I must try harder.

driving me crazy

Some things we saw along the way:

















We drove for well over 1000 miles through the south, the midlands, the lake district and scotland. A grand old British Tour.

We dominated the dance floor in Nottingham, played watercolour challenge in Kendal, and ate delicious vegan pies in Edinburgh. We wrote songs at Yorkshire Sculpture Park, lay on beaches by Derwent Water & Gullane, and had to flee Loch Lomond after an accomodation/frightening gypsy nightmare.

It was a wonderful, but very strange time for me. At times I felt completely out of control of my behaviour, vacant and angry and trapped in a state of depression which I absolutely couldn't snap myself out of. It was awful. No, I was awful.

But I stopped taking those awful pills and a migraine or two later, I'm on the mend. The holiday was great, it still is great. Three days left to enjoy the sea air before I get back on the work train (literally).

home sick

We came back from holiday a little early. Jubilant highs, and plummeting lows.

We met many nice pets along the way, including this fluffy dog enjoying the view at Derwent Water.

After 7 different sleeping places, I am desperate to curl up under my blanket in familiar surroundings.

have a hatty few weeks...

I'm off on holiday. Here are some hat things.





HAT CAKE BEFORE!



HAT CAKE AFTER!



ME AND ONE OF MY HATS



yes yes yes yes yes

new year, kind of.

My chair has had a long and colourful life. An array of vibrant blues and greens peek through the white paint on the corners where it has been knocked about over the years. The fabric covering has been a very garish pink polkadot for as long as i can remember, and it was time for a change. While I was at it, I spruced up my new academic diary.

A lot has happened in the past 12 months - too much perhaps. I am exhausted.

I became a graduate.
I finished a 5 year relationship, and began a new one.
I moved cities, and houses, twice.
I became unemployed for the first time in 10 years, and then got 2 perfect jobs in the same day.
I went to 2 festivals, one was wonderful and the other was the worst time of my life.
I dressed up as roadkill, a geisha, a garden, the king of the windmill, a 50s princess, and accidently flashed while wearing a toga.
I went to 3 of the best gigs i've ever been to, 2 of which were in a church.
I had my bike stolen, and got it back.
I divorced my dad.
I spent the night in hospital for the first time since I was born.

......amongst other things, which aren't blog safe.

Yeah... i could probably have a tv show by now. It's not going to be a cookery one though judging by this evening's attempt at fudge. Hugh F-W let me down! My sugar thermometer let me down!

It's gay pride in Brighton this weekend, and after last years ridiculous dramas, I'm kind of glad to be missing it. I won't be glad to be missing Jasmine and Zoe though:

hats hats hats hats hats hats

I have got into writing using pen and paper this week, which means blogging has diminished somewhat. It was a hell of a week last week too, overworked and underpaid is an understatement.

But we're having a party! On saturday, and if you're reading this then you should probably definitely come along. Can you guess the theme?







This weekend we have mostly been keeping an eye on Basket, our part-time adopted seagull chick and also finally assembled the World Postcard Map which Debbie has successfully documented. Send us a postcard! I used to love having pen-pals, it seems that not many people can be bothered these days. A shame.

Party!

some calm and some storms

A whole lot of things this week and weekend.







I borrowed a geisha dress from a nice lady called Marion who replied to my cry for costume help on Freecycle. I laughed until I nearly wet myself getting ready, but in the end we looked like a real treat. The cake turned out nicely too, a perfectly moist chocolate fudge cake - Debbie wanted to lick it but held back nicely.

To ease a hangover we cycled to Stanmer Park and sat on the grass watching kite "ballets" to music and ate frightening burgers from a frightening caravan with very misleading signs. Played 2 rounds of scrabble and ate too many treats.

Tomorrow I am mostly not looking forward to going back into my dusty fibreglass box and dremelling for 8 hours straight for somebody who doesn't even appreciate it at all. But I guess it's a job, so I won't moan about that, or feeling sick anymore.

tell me why

i don't like tuesdays.

Sam made that nice photo of a rabbit though, and today at work i got to stroke a taxidermy fox, cat, dog and 2 rabbits. I didn't touch the rats and mice, they looked a bit frightening.

Flash flooding today whilst being rather exciting, meant soggy toes and irate train companions. The man opposite me meditated cross-legged the whole way from london to brighton on an absolutely packed train. Maybe he was praying for un-rain.

I always make plans to go to bed early, which i never stick to. Tonight I have been drawing pictures of hat ideas for our party in a few weeks.....

exciting!

old hat

peaks and troughs.

power dancing/angry shouting
street parties/spilt drinks
bike rides/sore legs
sunshine/sweaty people

now on that subject, i have a thing or two to say. i have never been very good at touching - i mean hugging. or people touching me. i hate going to the hairdresser because strangers have to touch my head. i hate that. i hate head massages. i hate any massages, unless i like the person very very much.

so it really upsets me when i have to squeeze myself between two really smelly sweaty fat men on the train to get a seat. i hate their leg being pressed against mine, and them not minding. i hate that my knees stick out so far that often its impossible not to touch the person opposite me's knees. i hate that i hate this so much.

i will get better at it, some day.

win-chester

We got back this afternoon from our mini weekend tour to Winchester and The New Forest. I think we got stuck in a time warp somewhere along the way, because it felt like we were away for much longer than 2 days.

















We cycled along riverbanks, toasted our toes and drank wine by the bonfire, went posh charity shopping and couldn't find fish & chips anywhere. It was very very lovely, apart from a disappointing reptile centre and getting stuck in a bomb shelter style public toilet which stank like the worst B.O. i've ever smelt.

Can't wait for the summer adventure to commence now, this year is shaping up to be a real treat.

red, white and no blues

Cream teas for breakfast, lunch and dinner.









I've been making signs for Bert's this week, and delivered them yesterday. They seemed very pleased with them, and i enjoyed drawing pink cheese graters, spinning tops and soapy sponges. I want a job painting pub signs, that'd be great.

I made my first ever scones yesterday and broke the lactose-intolerance nausea barrier and stuffed my face with creamy cream. mmmm. I had to test out my beautiful new enamel teapots too, the tea stays warm for ages!

Today we're going driving, and i'm terrified of motorways. We'll see.....

you can do better.

Richard throws like a girl, I throw like I've never used my arms before. Cuttlefish have bums, I always thought they were made of polystyrene.

I had a very pleasant evening in last night eating cake, drinking tea, talking about life's variety of problems and inventing ways of solving them via the medium of jokes. We decorated mugs with paint which is supposed to stick, but debbie's fell off everywhere today.

Tomorrow I will paint some more signs for Bert's and try to win a recipe competition. I didn't do very well tonight, and my loaf of bread was shockingly flat so i think i am in a cooking trough.



Salmon fishcakes with magic watercress dressing & blushing tomatoes. Part one, of two.

like a real grown up

I ate a handful of potato wedges last night, and a roast dinner today. Goodbye liquid diet, hello danish pastries!





I visited Shiri's photography exhibition in Brick Lane this evening, and discovered that Nottingham Trent has kindly dedicated a page to me in their prospectus. My work was never easy to photograph, and this was reiterated through the horrendous foreshortening/squashing effect it had on the painting. hmfph.

I saw lots of nice people there, like Lucinda, Julian, Tobias, Vanessa and many other familiar faces. I certainly never feel cool enough for central london though, keep me in a warehouse in Loughborough Junction where I belong!

one for me, one for you.

I still cant eat anything other than soup really so my legs have been quite wobbly this weekend. Despite this, me, Richard and Stacey took part in the Brighton Naked Bike Ride - but not naked. I know it's cheating, but due to my recent ailments it wasn't really appropriate, but at least Rich did it in his little grey pants. Quite an amazing experience, certainly one i'll get more involved in next year.

I made a little trip to Richard's studio too, listened to Wu-Tang & did some absolutely crap drawings which i'll dispose of very swiftly. Him and Jake do some wonderful things with paint. I just sat there admiring them, and my very lovely new wicker picnic bag which smells like old tents.

Considering how stressful the past 2 weeks have been, I've had a really lovely time. Back to work tomorrow though, which is far less lovely.

market meerkat

I had to glue his head back on, but it was worth the trauma. Pretty pretty dead butterfly.

I recieved a "get well soon" card from work in the post today, a very nice and unexpected gesture. Tomorrow I'm going to try my hardest to get up to london to earn some dosh, my wallet is going to be very sad this month.

Oesophageal ulceration, you are NOT my friend.